you know this only the 3rd time ive felt this in my entire life.
first in sec 2 second in JC1 and now the 3rd today 24 January 2009
if i were to put it in words its just intense pressure on my heart making it feel like it wants to burst. the sadness is incredible just incredible. hah its amazing for one who always tries his best to be happy and act happy in front of everyone. its like the all those sad things that i am supposed to feel all rolled into one and im experiencing everything in one go. Tears dont even begin to describe it. breathing gets heavy. but unlike before ita actually for a person this time. it was always about being able to do what i love. now its this sadness for a person. i dont know how long it will last. the previous two cases lasted for slightly less that a day each. this is different i guess. its always the same. the same feeling like my heart is being compressed. i guess its time to throw it all away. i still must be happy i'll hang on to the belief that money doesnt make the world go round. i belief that laughter does. crying. hah suposedly makes one feel better but its just wrenching my throat and making my mouth dry in addition to the wrenching feeling in the chest.26/1/09 i am officially ashamed of myself for acting like that. so imma white out the post. read it if you must.
give me some time. i'll stop, but i'll watch your back from now on.
25/1/09 Addition:
this is sure as hell gonna take longer than i thought i would have taken.
One more step to enlightenment at9:57 PM.
