Feeling really down and out now. All the things happening recently ust adds up. Wow and i so desperately wanted not to, but i cant help it its who i am. yes i am tearing. frustrated angry and whatnot i just wanna let it all out in one good storm of tears so i can be happy again. i probably cry more than most other guys. but they dont know me. why the hell does everyone think im must be happy i telling you now to FUCK OFF the moment i stay quiet you guys come over and ask me what's wrong. just cause im hapy mose of the time doesnt mean i should always be happy. everyone has their own situations. it isnt about me. i dont believe in birthday wishes simply because i have had the same wish for 17 years of my life and it never happens and yet i keep wishing the same thing over and over. no one knows this wish and they probably shouldnt some things just arent meant to be told. if i ever said it my family would ask me not to worry and my friends would pity me. fuck off i dont need your pity i need a solution. if you ever solve it tell me but i dont think you ever will. if it has existed since discovery in 1776 and no one has solved it what makes you think you can. what makes you think im so interested in bio its all because of this goddam thing and now more people are involved. and people worry about why they cant pass their exams and that seems so trivial compared to this.
i am afraid of death.
One more step to enlightenment at9:58 PM.
